story

By Posted in - general & writing on April 13th, 2013 20 Comments

I LOVE A GOOD STORY.

For as long as I can remember, I have always loved to lose myself in music, books, and stories. I love the freedom that the written and spoken word gives us- the freedom to feel more deeply or live more bravely or just be someone else for a while. Even as a child, I always had my ears in headphones, my nose in a book, and my mind in another world altogether.

And I have always loved to write- short stories, long stories, poetry, songs. Writing has always been the way I feel and cope and heal. And because it is so healing to me, it has always been my private thing. It is the place I go, all by myself or just with God, to fight and struggle and learn and really allow myself to be me. So when God asked me to write down my story, I did so gladly. But then when He asked me to share it, I balked.

For one thing, when I write, it is the one place where I am totally and utterly honest with myself. It is the one safe space where I tell the truth about what I really feel, where I really struggle, and who I really am. And to share that with anyone goes against all I know. Because, for as long as I can remember, I have been faking it.

Ever since I was a child, I have learned to shape and reshape who I am to receive approval and feel loved. I have mastered the art of gauging what someone wants in that moment, and then becoming that version of myself in hopes of gaining their acceptance. I have learned to lie.

But when I write, I tell the truth. And when He asked me to tell my story, He asked me to tell that true version, not the fluffed up versions I have been telling and even believing since childhood. See, the problem I have with the truth is that it isn’t always pretty. And I would prefer to skip over the ugly parts of my story and just write the beautiful chapters; the ones about Him and who He is and what He is doing in my life. But when God called me to write, He told me that in order to really tell the story of who He is, I must first tell the truth about who I am, and who I was, especially. Because this story He has given me to tell is steeped in adventure and adversity, in mercy and messes, and in faith and failure. In other words, I can’t tell you about victory without being vulnerable. And I can’t tell you about redemption without being real.

So I have set out on a journey – I know I must share who He is and what He has done in my life with others so that they may know the same joy and peace and redemption that He has shown me. I know I must tell the truth.  I know I must say yes.

So, to be honest, I am terrified. Telling the truth about my life is a foreign concept to me and likely will even be a foreign concept to those who hear my story. We live in a world bursting with lies. We tell them and hear them and believe them readily and sometimes truth is not welcomed or rewarded. But every time I dare to tell it, every time I make the choice to be seen as just me – the me I have always been convinced is no one special or not enough – He is glorified. Because my story, just like yours, is the story of the gospel. It is the story of failure and forgiveness, of refining and redemption, and of healing and hope.

And really, what good are the stories He has given us if they are never told? What good are our songs if they are never given a voice? And what good is redemption if no one ever knows the Redeemer?  Only our failures can give voice to his healing and power. And it is only when we strip ourselves down to the messes we are and dare to be seen that we give his redemption a chance to shine.

So if I can only lead people to the truth of who He is by telling the truth of who I am, then let’s get this party started. I am a sinner, a slob, a faker, a terrible singer, a controller, a hypocrite, an even worse dancer, a speeder, a judger, an over-eater, a liar, and a lover of bad TV.

I am human and I am a mess, but I am His.

 

And it is my desire to be living, breathing, writing, blogging, singing proof that God is a keeper of promises and lover of all who seek Him.

So this blog is the very first chapter of my story – The Yes Chapter.  This is my step out into obedience the great unknown beyond.  #ISaidYes toGod and will begin to tell you the raw and barren truth of who I was and who I am becoming, so that the story of who He is and how He is changing my life can really be told.

This is my story; this is my song.  This is my journey to redemption.

 

please join me on this journey by checking back on this blog often or subscribing to receive notifications of new posts.

 See you on the road.

 

P31 OBS Blog Hop

 

Comments

  • Bertina Schreiber - Reply

    April 13, 2013 at 5:12 pm

    Loved hearing you speak and listening to your story unfold. I believe that evereyone has a story and some are willing to share theirs….especially when nudged by God. I’m proud of you, my other daughter!

  • Susan Douglass - Reply

    April 13, 2013 at 5:26 pm

    Christine, thank you for sharing your story! I admire your courage, but even more I admire your great faith. With God, all things are possible. Your story this morning at the Women’s meeting was touching, meaningful, and soul searching. Thank you for sharing. You are the hands of feet of Jesus!
    Love & Blessings,
    Susan

  • linnea falk - Reply

    April 13, 2013 at 5:56 pm

    I love you Christine, I am so proud of you & the journey you are embarking on. I will be by your side through it all!

  • Cindi Leech - Reply

    April 13, 2013 at 7:12 pm

    Christine, thank you for having the courage to share your song and story. What a gracious way to bring us into your world and letting us be part of your life. You are an inspiration to all of us, I have so enjoyed hearing you both at the Retreat and today at the breakfast.. Please keep listening to God, he seems like he knows what is working for you,
    Our love and blessing to your future.
    Cindi

  • Lanelle Gillespie - Reply

    April 13, 2013 at 7:16 pm

    Christine,

    I am so proud of you. I loved hearing your story again and heard things that inspired me all over again. You did a wonderful job this morning and I love your web site. I am so glad you have joined our Fourth Day Group.

  • Carol Sawin - Reply

    April 13, 2013 at 8:58 pm

    Christine,
    Dreams do come true. Thank you for sharing your story and your song. Your faith is an inspiration to those who know you and now to those who will
    embrace Jesus Gypsy.
    Love,
    Carol

  • Julie Taylor - Reply

    April 13, 2013 at 10:30 pm

    Christine, thanks so much for sharing–I can’t wait to read more! I know God has great things in store, and that many will be drawn to Him through you and your story.

  • Emily Moreland - Reply

    April 14, 2013 at 12:08 am

    Christine,
    Congratulations on your courage to speak about your faith so candidly. We all need to talk more a bout Jesus. I look forward to your blogs with great joy for you and for me. I. So remember when we first met.

    Emily

  • Sharon Johnston - Reply

    April 14, 2013 at 1:18 pm

    Christine, it is so good to hear your words again. I look forward to reading & following your story.

  • Kathy Karnes - Reply

    April 14, 2013 at 1:56 pm

    You are an amazing, beautiful woman. ….and a wonderful speaker! You had my full attention the entire time. The way you mixed the “good, bad, and ugly” as you called your story, I never knew what was coming next. Also, your humor and ability to laugh at yourself put everyone at ease. Sometimes it is hard to laugh at ourself. I look forward to following you in your ministry and perhaps I can learn to be who God really wants me to be.

  • Kaye Blount - Reply

    April 15, 2013 at 12:15 am

    Christine,
    We are all so proud of you but know that is not the reason God had given you the grace and courage to speak . If we all did our part what a better world we would live in.
    God bless you and all you do.

  • Julie Weiss - Reply

    April 15, 2013 at 10:46 am

    Christine – I was completely moved and inspired by your strength and courage to share your story – I am now removing my mask when talking with friends and family – it makes a huge difference – we ALL need to share our Jesus stories – I have spent most of MY life without being CLOSE to God . It is so freeing to be on the journey getting closer to God. Your insight and ability to tell your story in such a moving and unique and honest way will help many people – I’m happy to say I am on of them. With Love to You!

  • Leah Manning - Reply

    April 16, 2013 at 1:27 am

    Christine, thanks so much for sharing your story. You are an amazing, incredible woman with great strength, courage and faith. I can’t wait to read and hear more. You are also a fantastic story teller. Loved Keep up both the written and verbal word!!!

  • Maryann Carder - Reply

    April 17, 2013 at 12:39 am

    Christine,

    As I began to read your email, the song, ‘You Raise Me Up’ came on. It took about as long to read as the song and by the time I finished I was in tears. You are an absolute inspiration to me. You have a gift of words and I am so excited to read on. The site looks awesome and I LOVE the photo with the backpack! <3

  • Sangrid - Reply

    April 17, 2013 at 11:29 am

    So proud of you and excited to know you better! Thank you so much for saying YES! Your story is one of strength and Faith and I love you for sharing! Love, Sangrid

  • cheryl martin - Reply

    April 18, 2013 at 1:21 am

    This is the truth………your truth is imperfectly beautiful, moving, and inspirational. This is also the truth……you are a gifted from-the-heart storyteller, and the miracle of God’s love comes alive through your words. Thank you.

  • Pam Stone - Reply

    April 18, 2013 at 8:31 pm

    Thank you for sharing yourself, your story and your faith. I got to hear you speak at the retreat but was so disappointed to miss the Women’s Breakfast. I have heard how inspirational you are as a speaker and what a wonderful job you did. I can hardly wait to hear you again in person. You were and will continue to be in my prayers as you begin this blessed journey,

  • Larue Woods - Reply

    May 4, 2013 at 3:51 pm

    Christine,
    I have always known that you are a special person. Thanks for sharing your story. you have had an amazing journey and will continue that journey with God’s love.

  • Barb - Reply

    September 12, 2013 at 9:20 pm

    Thank you for sharing your story today. I feel like we are down the same road together naked! Love it…

  • Brandi - Reply

    September 12, 2013 at 10:52 pm

    I loved reading your post. I’m thankful you said yes to God about telling your true story. I can relate. I testify of God’s power when I tell others about what He’s done in my life, but I pick and chose what I share. God has really spoke to me through this OBS about letting HIM decide what I share about how He’s changed my life, forgiven me and set me on a path to point others to Him. Thank you for sharing!

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